Its about making memories worth repressing
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
