The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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