Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
