escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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