Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize