So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Don't make out with my wife yet
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Randomize
