you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
