Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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