why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
