He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
