I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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