and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
