You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
the day after is always just damage control
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
This baby is an asshole
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
