This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
