check it out our google latitudes are spooning
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
