Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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