pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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