i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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