I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
She told me I should be a condom model.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
