Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
