You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
