Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(773): View more from Illinois

Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"

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(586): View more from Michigan

The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.

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(562): View more from California

...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls

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(347): View more from New York

i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning

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(256): View more from Alabama

so my dad walked in on us having sex

(1-256): View more from Alabama

lulz really? why?

(256): View more from Alabama

lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time

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(910): View more from North Carolina

whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes

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(423): View more from Tennessee

People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to

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