I CAN MOONWALK!
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Randomize
