Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
