This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
