Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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