you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
