I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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