Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
