Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
