She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
