White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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