So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
