He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
