No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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