is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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