Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
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Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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