Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize