It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
be right there i have to get my cape
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
