Having a random hookup so left but love u
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
