Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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