I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
