either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I know her cup size but not her name....
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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