I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
