I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
