is your mom at the bar?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize