Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Randomize
