I think I just saw someone hide a body.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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