Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
