Your tits are I can't wait for
Small penises have feelings too.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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