whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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