his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
