His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize